Let me 'splain... no, let me sum up

In the classic British sci fi series "Doctor Who", the 4th reincarnation  of The Doctor (played by Tom Baker) always wears an impossibly long scarf. After 3 incarnations of slightly whimsical old men, Tom Baker embodied adventure and whit and he will always have a special place in one of my hearts. 


Yarn-narration, the act of giving an account describing incidents or a course of events;


Scallywag-imp, one who is playfully, mischievous




so to recap, this blog is for the sole purpose of posting my short (read: tiny) works of fiction and observations as i see fit. 


that is all

it's been a month, might as well post something.

My mom and I don't get along. At best one could characterize our relationship as 'distant'.   Most of my formative years can be characterized by sitting in the waiting room with a book while she was in a bipolar support group. But for all her shortcomings, I would be a fundamentally different adult without her influence.
     Countless studies have demonstrated that when a person starts learning to play a musical instrument, the brain starts getting 'rewired' and making connections differently than brains owned by people who don't play an instrument. I can personally attest to this. When I was 5 i opened the lid of my mom's piano and played by ear the melody from 'Ode to Joy' in D major. Since a week later when my mom heard me playing it again, she started giving me piano lessons.
Playing music and listening to music is a huge part of my life and who i am as a person and I wouldn't have that without her. So for that, I say 'thank you'.

what's in a name?

A name is the most powerfully understated identifier of humankind.
 Our individual names are what define us against the sea of humanity.
Our names are an expression of our heritage
                           where we come from,
                                                                who our parents hoped we would become,
                              what they thought was important,

Your name says if you belong where you are
                                                     Our names define us as much as our face
            Names hold our identity
                                              How we're known

                         How we want to be known
                                               What we want others to know about us
                                                                            What we don't want to be known about us

psychotic ramble

    i've noticed i have a tendancy to fall in love with guys who are far away and/or that i dont interact with very often.   Much of the emotional conection is based on the idea of a guy vs. how the guy actually /is/; and most of my perception of the guy is tainted by an affiliation with a television character that reminds me of them.  This is certainly not aided by the fact that no guy within close physical distance to myself indicates interest in me. Maybe I'm scared in some way to allow myself to be with someone who is close, so so affix emotions to someone who is out of reach and distant enough to be idealized. because I know that the ideal form will always be perfect, as opposed to the painful reality of imperfection found in every human being around.
    Also i've noticed that i live quite a bit aways from everyone. not just cause i'm out in the boonies but I've sorta always been distanced from, well, everything.     Which is just an example of something that's been naging at me for quite a while: that I've been, for the most part, a goody goody.  Due to my upbringing i'm not sure how much of my virtue is in tact of my own volition or simply from lack of opportunity. Which causes me to bring all my convictions under scrutiny, much to no avail since much of my convictions are untested and it's nearly impossible to determine which are my own if I've not had opertunity to act on them. 






   

Falling. Still falling. Man it's windy out. We've all been there. That vivid dream  Where suddenly and inexplicably we were certain death was imminent. So certain your brain was no longer sure if you were dreaming or if you were really about to die.   And then just before hitting the ground or being shot or stabbed, you'd would wake up. That's how you always know what's a dream: You always wake up. No matter how dead you are in your dream you always wake up. But not this ti--

These are some of my drawings

random cartoon. 

graphite rendering of my dog Tobey. 

trees in the snow

Prophetess of Doom. Charcoal

Bugs' eye veiw of a tree that got hit by lightning and split. colored pencil & charcoal

this cat has the world's bushiest tail. graphite dust and charcoal

noton thingy. 

fortune cookies. after a terrific tasting meal of Chicken Lo Mein there's always that final fortune cookie that comes with the bill. just sitting on top. pleading with you to not lose heart in the decency of mankind just because foreign food is such a massive expense, and easing the pain of your financial loss with a cliche one liner scribled on that slip of paper. emploring you to leave with a smile of contemptment as you pass the aquarium filled with large orange fish. and out the door. what about those numbers on the back, eh?..they're probably an access code. if i walk two blocks over than cut accross the parking lot i can get to the cleaner's before they close..
---
please enter your nine digit security clearance--that automated voice always made his skin crawl. and besides, he didn't have time to wait for the recording to finish, this was earth shatering. he pounded his security code into the keypad then pressed pound-star-one-six-star and waited for someone to answer.
"yes, hullo Control? It's Higgins. you know how i was telling you about project 4tune? Someone's on to us. ...Yessir i'll get the warrent first thing."